Hello, all, and Happy New Year.
When we think of a new year, we usually think thoughts of a new start, a fresh perspective, and moving on from old stuff to pursue new adventures. Some things from last year are better left back there, and we would just as soon put as much distance between them and us, as we can. With optimism, we imagine where we hope to get to this year. And, of course, there are also things from last year that we would like to continue to do and experience. But I believe that the thing that is most attractive about a new year is the idea of new beginnings and fresh chances.
But this past weekend, only sixteen days into the new year, I received some of the most devastating news I have ever gotten. I learned that our daughter had just found out that the cancer in her body, that we thought had been dealt with several years ago, was now back. As she told me the news, it seemed like the air was suddenly sucked out of the room. I was numbed. It was hard to breathe. My mind went blank. But the worst thing I felt was the familiar heavy feeling falling on my shoulders as I remembered the radiation, chemo, scans, visits to the hospital, surgeries, pain, infections, isolations, and just plain old sickness.
Initially, as I worked through the labyrinth of my own emotions of sorrow and anger, I also felt a sense of betrayal. The medical science that had tried to help her at the expense of the huge toll on her and her family, had failed. I thought, "Here we go again."
Medical science and treatments have come a long way, but still, they are not perfect. In contrast, the Bible says, in Deuteronomy 32:3-4, "I will proclaim the name of the Lord. Oh, praise the greatness of our God! He is the Rock, His works are perfect, and all His ways are just. A faithful God, Who does no wrong, upright and just is He." Somehow, that is where I want to be; fastened to the Rock and trusting in His perfection and faithfulness. My faith and my confidence are not in the doctors, the medicine, or the science, but on the Lord.
My hope in Him gives me optimism for our daughter, her husband, Shaun, and their kids. I can't come up with answers as to why the ugliness of cancer could steamroll over her and her family yet again. But I make a choice, a New Year's resolution, if you will. I will trust God with her life, her family, and all the things the months and years might bring.
